Yesterday

Yesterday evening, mom had x-rays done. This was to ensure no ribs were broken in the emergency cpr process. We will find out results today. The pain in her chest is great. We played a singing game as a form of distraction. Everyone knows how Violet loves to sing. This helped,and she became more comfortable to eat. A thanks to Aunt Janice for making a visit. My internet source has become unreliable, so I will post more updates as I encounter a connection.

Visits Bring Healing

Today mom became situated in her new room. She is having pain in her chest due to the cpr and shock from last Sunday. Its comparable to intense bruising. We pray the pain subsides more and more each day. She coughs a bit, too. Other than that, she is alert, talking, and welcoming visitors.

Dr. Del Toro came in and kept us abreast of her progress. We are hoping he can become her primary care doctor. He's very relaxed, thorough, and calm. Perhaps, too calm. At one point, he was telling us of updates and some kind of commotion was happening in the room next door. It sounded like someone was thrown against the wall. Sure enough, the clock from the wall came tumbling down, loudly and methodically, over the shelf knocking things over, and finally came crashing to the floor. The whole time Dr. Del Toro didn't flinch and kept speaking to us. After seeing women with gloves pass the room door and ask if we are alright, the doctor looks to my nephew who was playing with his toys on the floor and says matter-of factly, "Its okay". It sounded like an earthquake in the other room. This man didn't flinch. He needs to be my mom's doctor.

The doctor informs us that Mom will have Seroquel removed from her list of medication. Seroquel is a mood-stabilizer shown to have heart risk side effects. He also said he would order a dermatologist (to aid her skin condition progress) and a psych consult (to aid her bipolar condition progress). She will stay in her regular room for awhile monitored on telemetry. It was said that she has been accepted to a great wound care facility in Youngsville. That will be her next stage in the healing process.

Special thanks to Aunt Camella and cousin Stacy for their visit. Mom really enjoyed your company and said more so afterwards. It was a pleasure seeing you both and great to hear about your lives. I find that kind of good nature and energy you guys brought was very revitalizing to mom's spirit.

To Share With You

These past few days have felt like weeks. Information has changed minute to minute, forcing my sister and I to live in the present moment. Someone asked me yesterday if I will be back in NYC next week. I told him, "I don't know where I will be 20 minutes from now". And, that is no exaggeration. That is a fact. And, I am learning that it is becoming the key to a kind of salvation.

My type of personality likes order and control. When faced with adversity, I get anxious sitting around waiting. I like to get pro-active, search and search again for clues, solutions, and answers. But, what do you do when you've scratched every surface? Or, when you have to wait? Or, ultimately, when there may not be an answer?
These are questions I've encountered in a million facets and I don't suspect I can 'research' them with any concrete answers.

Fortunately, I was exposed to a great book. The kind of great book that you carry its treasures for the rest of your life. In last Sunday's mad dash for the airport, it found itself flung into my suitcase among dirty clothes that had no time to make it to the laundromat. Its called 'A New Earth', by Eckhart Tolle. For me, the core essence of the book points you in the direction of embracing the present moment, for it is the only moment we will ever have. Often, we are bathed in worry. Worry about the future, worry about our bills, our loved ones, our careers, our health, etc. This time does not exist. Often times, we languish in the past, another time that does not exist for it has already happened. Here, in this book, beautiful insights are shared and great pointers are presented to aid you toward living more consciously and appreciating the transience of all things.

Every experience that we experience is needed to help us elevate to our next stage of consciousness. How do you know what experience is necessary to help you to your next level? It is the one you are having right now.

I share this book's gems because I am finding myself come back and back again to its many layers as they unfold to me now throughout my experience.

Official: Moving to a regular room

Mom is now in Room 429. To phone, call (337)289-2429. I received a phone call from Mom's nurses. She had a good night. The doctors feel comfortable to move her from MICU to a room on the fourth floor. Visitors are welcome to visit any time before 9pm. Keep the prayers coming!

May Move to Regular Room Tomorrow

Mom is looking good. Just went to the 5pm visit session. We will go for the 8:30pm visiting hours. She will be in MICU for another night for observation. This is to monitor her without the Lidocaine (a common local anesthetic and antiarrhythmic drug. It is used topically to relieve itching, burning and pain from skin inflammations, injected as a dental anesthetic, and in minor surgery). She has discomfort due to chest pains from the shocks and throat pain from the tube. This has caused her worry because they are unfamiliar pains. We have reassured her that they are legitimate pains that will heal and are normal due to her treatment. This seems to relieve her concern. With luck and much more prayers, her move to a regular room looks good for tomorrow. In this case, visiting hours are more flexible. And, we welcome visitors! We believe in the healing power of community and support. So, please feel free to visit should you have a spare moment, even if its just for a short while. If you are a Big Brother watcher, mom would probably enjoy some updates.

Asking For Guidance

This afternoon Mom had a visit of many loved ones. Curt, Sonja, and Elise were there (her siblings), as well as her mother, Sonja's husband, David, and Jenn and me. Mom was very grateful we were there and expressed her thanks. She ate some food, too. That was wonderful.

Meanwhile, the emotional stress of this all is really affecting Jenn and I. We are privy to Mom's past and present information. We also have had discussions with doctors and amongst ourselves about the future. Its overwhelming. At times, we are so overwhelmed that we don't feel so optimistic. Anyone who knows someone great that we could talk to would be wonderful. This could be a strong person who is very wise and compassionate, a kind member of clergy, or just someone who understands this intense situation. We are looking for guidance in so many ways.

Thanks to all who have offered to babysit 'Pop', bring food, and offered us company.

This Morning

This morning we received hopeful news. Our mother was alert and spreading the news through the staff that she loved us and can't wait to see us. She had a good night. No heart stops. She also said shes ready to move to another room because she wants to get better so that she could go home. Good to hear.

Evening Update

Today has to be one of the most single intense days of my sister's and my life. The range of emotions we have experienced feel inhuman. But, perhaps, this is exactly what being human is about. Once after being asked to leave and return for the next visiting session (the staff has been great allowing us extra time against protocol, we were getting a bandaid for my nephew. A page went out 'Code Blue to MICU'...My sister and I ran and were in another state of mind. Fortunately, that page did not apply to mom. Thank goodness.

There are more reasons to be grateful. She is breathing on her own. No breathing machine. Please pray she strengthens throughout the night. She was finally starting to understand what had happened to her as we answered her questions. She was visibly distressed. Understandable. All of this has happened within a little over 24 hours. We prayed. We chanted. We left balloons which she liked.

Thank you to all who visited today. Thank you Tonette, Kim, and Linda. It was wonderful to see you.

Visiting Hours For Local Family and Friends

During visiting hours today, my sister and I were able to look into our mother's eyes. She was aware that we were present. She looked uncomfortable. I can understand. A tube down the throat does not sound appealing. It doesn't look appealing. And, that is the rough part. Seeing and knowing her body is undergoing so many changes. Pushing to survive.

Her white blood cell count is lower. That is a good sign that her infection is at bay. The challenge right now is getting her to breathe on her own. We stayed for a test to see if that's possible. Though her oxygen intake is better, she had trouble with the deep breaths on her own. It was apparent that she really wanted to speak at times. I really wanted to hear what she had to say. We did our best to keep her comfortable, asked if she was hot or cold, pain or comfortable. She did not want us to leave. We had to stroke her till she closed her eyes and sneak out. We will visit again at one of the designated hours for this evening.

Speaking of visiting hours, Lourdes ICU visiting hours are as follows:
9-9:30am
12:30-1:30pm
5-6pm
8-8:30pm


Other ICU details to know:
Only 2 people are permitted at one time.
They do not permit live flowers.
The hospital number is (337)289-2000.
The ICU Voicemail is (337)289-4900.



PLEASE be sure to use the hospital sanitizer located on the walls near the entrance and inside. Or, you can choose to wash your hands. Violet's immune system is challenged and it helps not to bring in germs. Remember to use the sanitizer upon exiting, as well.



Thank you so much to all of the family members who have visited. Your presence is encouraging. Thank you for all of the relatives and friends who have called.
For more information directly, you can call me at (917)858-9787 or email me at heatherkpierre@gmail.com

Heart, A Suspect

As of 6:30am, my sister and I were informed by the ICU nurse that our mother had trouble breathing again last night. Her breathing was shallow. It appears she may have pulmonary challenges. An EKG will be in order. We look forward to gathering more concrete information when her pulmonary specialist is able to gather all of the information from various tests. Despite the breathing challenges, they may try to wean her off a little bit of oxygen. The heart doctor will make this decision this morning. There are so many factors to consider. Everything is moment to moment.

ICU Update

Reached ICU a little after 6pm. Mom was mostly sedated with tube down throat and oxygen being supplied to her. There were some slight signs that she was aware of our presence. Earlier in the day, it was reported that she was more responsive. She was nodding to questions asked. She is mostly sedated for comfort, which inhibits her communication. As she continues to breathe on her own, she will be sedated less and less. Then we hope to communicate to her.

Doctors are concerned that there is a blood clot in her lung. A CT scan will aid this diagnosis. The challenge is getting a vein to pump the needed fluid for the scan. My mom has always had trouble with medical teams getting successful access to her veins.
So, that is the challenge.

That's where we are for now. I'm on New York time so its well after midnight and I've been in a frenzy since 7am. Feel so weighted, I would like to sleep long enough to wake with everyone okay and the world at rights.
But, that would probably be too long of a sleep.

I'm thankful for the friends that have called, the ones that have wished me well, and the ones that pray for me now. Please keep it coming. I believe in the power of prayer.

This Turn

As I am writing this, I am waiting for a flight at the airport. I have ensured a seat and will board in a half hour. I received a call this morning from my sister that our mother was found not breathing this morning. When they called my sister, a code blue was issued. They were working on her. She is now breathing on a machine in MICU. Why she stopped breathing we don't know.

I'm scared. But, oddly keeping it together. For now. The pain comes in waves. I just want to BE THERE. My original flight was scheduled for tomorrow. What if I'm a day late? I'm already a day late.

Today Brings Optimism

Today brings more optimism. Over that last couple days we have learned that Violet's white blood cells are decreasing, meaning the anti-biotics are doing their job. She is more coherent, though still a little 'fuzzy'. It was comforting to hear from her nurse that she was declaring that her aids 'deserve a raise'. That sounds very much like she's regaining herself.

I am still homeward bound. Just visited in April. It will be nice to see everyone again. I average about a trip a year. I look forward to seeing my soon-to-be 5 year old nephew. Last I heard, he was break-dancing and 'krunkin' at a church event having the congregation going wild with cheers. The theatrics in our family runs deep.

Future goals may include raising money for a bed sore healing bed or mattress topper. The top resembles those 'pop's you get from mail packages. The 'pops' deflate and inflate randomly at different intervals to 'move' the person laying over it, thus, giving relieving pressure (the main cause of bed sores). Also, we want to get other cleansing products and sterilize my mom's apartment. We may even plan a mini-fundraiser. But, most of all we want to be surrounded by positivity and enveloped in gratitude.

An Overview

Violet Pierre is well known for her singing and her ability to make people laugh. She is one of six of the Mouton children. Her father was Louisiana music legend Curtis Mouton. Her mother is Hilaria Broussard, native of southern Louisiana. Under their organ playing father, Violet and her siblings have traveled Louisiana and beyond entertaining with song and music for weddings, funerals, receptions, special events, and parties.

In Violet's mid-thirties, she discovered that she had bipolar disorder (also known as manic-depressive disorder). She was prescribed Lithium over the course of several months. Unbeknownst to Violet and her doctors, she also had a minor skin condition called psoraisis. Psoraisis is a skin disorder that resembles eczema and is an autoimmune condition. Lithium has an adverse effect on psoraisis. Spontaneously, over 70% of her body erupted into severe psoraisis. Since then, her immune system has been drastically weakened exposing her to multiple risks of infection. These complications have given rise to other challenges including psoriatic and osteo- arthritis, MRSA, and more. Over the past decade she has spent numerous stays in hospitals in Lafayette, mostly Our Lady Of Lourdes, undergoing surgeries and receiving various anti-biotics. Currently, she is undergoing major efforts to aid the healing of a huge bedsore at the small of her back that was made worse by the emergence of an abscess.

For my sister and I, this past decade and more has presented profound spiritual challenges. There are waves where things are fine, our mother's health improves greatly. We felt we reached a breakthrough earlier this year when we urged a meta-port (because of her small veins and her need for constant anti-biotics, this port was placed inside of her body to aid the IV) to be removed from her body fearing that this foreign body was the site of her constant 're-infections'. Once removed, she enjoyed an 'infection-free' 7 months. This was huge being that she averages a hospital visit every couple months, sometime weeks. She was more mobile and energetic. We felt more optimistic than ever.

But, then last Friday, this abscess emergence was a shock. Not to mention we were alarmed to hear that doctors suspected internal bleeding. Around 8 years ago, she was subject to diverticulitis (pockets in the colon that rupture). We suspected this could be the site of the bleeding. But before I continue, this must be said. My sister and I are fierce health advocates for our mother. We do our absolute best to stay abreast of her medications, various surgeries, experiemental procedures, and even current holistic advances in medicine. It is the most demoralizing and fatiguing when we find that we are not supported or matched in efforts by her health team, be it primary care physcians, Medicaid, the whole healthcare system. We feel they see her as a number. And, this was and has been the case all of these past years. There are kind and humane caregivers out there and when my sister and I cross paths with them we are deeply grateful. However, we find that much of our efforts fall on deaf ears. And, it makes us want to SCREAM.

But, we do not give up. And, we shall not. We shall continue to always search and try everything within our power to help heal and save our mom. I often pray I get the help where we cannot do everything. You know? The serenity prayer? 'Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change'. That's one life lesson where I am going to need much guidance.

So, we reach out online. To a community of people out there who have mothers, daughters, fathers, and sons they are advocating for. Friends who want to lend support. People who offer great insights and wisdoms. This past week I've been reacquainted with what the feeling of being utterly alone. And, I know that I am not. I know this consciously. I have my sister and friends who support me. Yet, there are moments in the quiet, when there is nothing to do, no immediate task to complete, and no imminent stimuli for distraction- it is here in this quiet that I am scared. Scared for the future and the 'what-ifs?'. It is human to be scared. This is what I'm learning. And, I'm not trying to lose the fears. I'm just trying to give them a wide berth so I don't become swallowed by them. I know a great many of you out there understand this and it is you that I've come to think about more and more these days. Somehow in thinking of you, I'm trying to discover peace, and a little comfort.