Moms Progression

Written Yesterday Evening


Mom was more responsive today. We visited at the 1pm and the 5pm visiting hours. Jennifer played her Will’s message (that’s her grandson) and she smiled. She said she was tired of hospitals. I could only agree and say that “I understand”. She feared her bath. Bathing and wound cleansing is very painful for her. But, we were happy to see her not in much pain outside of those circumstances. She let us clean her mouth, tongue, ears, and face. In fact, she urged us too. She’s lost some time. She wasn’t sure which hospital she was in and what had happened. That’s understandable. We told her a few key things about her blood pressure, kidneys, and skin. But, we left out a lot of the particulars. Figured not too overwhelm her with so much news. Give her just enough to comprehend the extra care and attention.
We are taking everything moment to moment. It’s a challenge. In fact, just now we got a call from family visiting at the 9pm that mom is asking for us. That makes me kind of ‘achey’. I want to rush over there now. But, we are exhausted. And, by the time we get there, the visiting time will be over and we would not be permitted to go in. Going to all four visits a day have been taking a physical and emotion toll. Jenn and I gave ourselves permission to visit twice a day instead of four. Yet, there is this angst I am feeling for not being there. The roles are reversed. I feel like a mother to her and I want to keep reassuring that she is safe and loved. She sounded so meek, like a child. I’m so joyful that she is alert. Now, I just want to shield her from all that would hurt her. And, I know that I must do all that I can do and surrender the rest. It’s a challenge. Moment to moment.