At airport. Going home. NYC, that is. July 26th. That feels like ages ago. On that day I was flying in to Louisiana- in a completely different place. Now, I leave over 60 days later - completely different.
I am excited to go back home. More than ready to resume a routine. Find some order. Create some stability. But, leaving is bittersweet. This whole experience feels epic. Like comething out of a movie. And, why do we equate larger than life experiences to that of a movie, something fictitious? Perhaps, feeling this larger than life
is life.
I've learned much. I know I have much much more to learn still. I'm grateful. There were unexpected moments in this trip that felt 'cinematic', too. There were the intense family dramas that led to bigger family revelations. There were the rediscovered friendships that bloomed at just the right times. There were more losses, but never as large as the BIG one. There were many victories. Victories in spirit and growth. Comfort zones were stripped bare. Every part of me became vulnerable. Raw. Exposed. Every part of me became new soil. Unearthed. Now ready to be tended.
And, that's a revelation that I felt yesterday. Instead of obsessing over how to continue my journey, how to process it, how to craft it into something- I became reacquainted with my biggest lesson of all- Absolute Surrender.
Instead of crafting something out of all of this, I have chosen to allow myself to be crafted.
It is liberating to realize this. Takes the pressure off. In surrendering, I can find complete freedom.
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