Mom is in room 533 on the fifth floor. Should you visit, be sure to wear the protective blue gown and blue gloves to ward off spreading or receiving bacteria.
She rests now. I will stay the night. She had several visitors this evening. She wants people around her. She was upset when she was alone earlier this afternoon. So, Jenn and I will take shifts so that there is no laps of time where she is alone. We welcome visitors. She speaks and is responsive though not every thing she says is sensible. But, she is very aware of people in the room. So, feel free to come and tell her how much she means to you.
At this moment, I am writing from the pullout bed next to mom's hospital bed. It is surprisingly large and comfortable, this little surprise- a mini blessing. Besides my laptop, the glow from the bathroom door provides the only light. Soothing jazz melodies play amidst ocean waves from a cd we have playing in the background. Mom's breaths are even. Though I do not know what tomorrow morning brings or the next hour even, I am very content to be here. In fact, there is no other place on Earth I'd rather be now.
Though I am still, I can't promise that tonight there will not be tears shed on the pillow that was brought from my grandmother's house. I am learning to allow myself the right to truly feel whatever it is that I feel in the moment. And, I continue to offer up all those things that I feel that are rooted in fear and hand them over to a Higher power, in hopes that those offerings eases my mother's journey.
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